Going Up the Mountain

Direction for a New Year and a New Book

Dear readers, a Happy New Year to you! I hope you have a marvelous Christmas and holiday season. I am excited for what’s ahead; 2023 is going to be a good year. I spent the last three days of 2022 on retreat with the Monks of Mount Tabor at the Holy Transfiguration Monastery in Redwood Valley, CA.

My first trip to the Monastery was at the end of summer this year. I was pleased to meet Dominic, a fellow member of the Symbolic World network IRL (in real life). That night three of us hiked to the top of a mountain, overlooking the lights from the cities in the valley below. We laid back and gazed at the vivid night sky up above. For hours, we marveled at the celestial beauty, telling stories and confessing struggles. I shared things with them that I haven’t shared with another person in many years. I had been afraid to share the stories for fear that they would negatively change how people perceived me. Many of them are quite embarrassing, yet formative; experiences I think are mine alone. However, telling them ignited a spark in my friends; it gave them hope on their path and even inspired them to open up and share similar stories. Something shifted within me that night, high in the mountains, beneath the stars. Perhaps my story isn’t just mine. Maybe what happened to me was for the benefit of others.

November and December were intense months of work and family gatherings. I went into the retreat thinking that I would 1) rest and 2) review 2022 and plan ahead for 2023. I arrived with a few important questions like should I commit to writing a book this year? and which book/project should I write first? However, it didn’t go quite as I had planned - fortunately. To my surprise, I rekindled a heart for prayer and spent much of my time in services and praying.

The first thing Domonic and I did was go for a hike up the mountain. The rain was coming down heavy. Within minutes, we were completely drenched. We continued talking and walking. The experience had a baptismal initiation to the weekend. After a hot shower and dry clothes, I joined the evening service feeling completely refreshed, like a brand new sweater.

Late one evening, three of us sat in a small, dark room, the amber light from the wood-burning stove and oil lamp pushing back the darkness around seating area. One of the brothers said:

Prayer is the center of who we are beneath the senses and the feelings. Prayer is the movement of the heart towards God. More than just an agapic, sacrificial love, prayer is a divine eros, a holy desire that attracts us to God. It moves two things to become one.

I went to the monastery looking ahead to the upcoming year, but instead, I was compelled to look back into my past and to look within. You see, 2023 will mark the 10-year anniversary of two pivotal events in my life 1) when I returned home after years of traveling and 2) when I accepted Christ as “my guru” (hey, one must start somewhere). I’ve grown old enough to avoid looking back at the early days of my new life with Christ, similar to how many of us cringe at stories of our teenage years in high school (my how proud I was of that thin mustache). Most of the new things I was learning didn’t seem so new, more like deja vu. I was recalling long-forgotten practices and mindsets from years gone by.

These are a few of the many signs I received during my retreat confirming what I am to do in 2023 - write my mystical memoir. I have only read maybe two memoirs in my life, and here I am setting out to write one. I was feeling lonely and searching for a place to start, a companion to show me the way. Low and behold, in the small monastery bookstore, I found a book I had never seen before called The Gurus, the Young Man, and Elder Paisios. I couldn’t believe it. The book was in the same niche category as mine: spiritual traveling memoir. What are the chances? It felt like meeting someone who shares your nerdy fascination with Firefly or freak-bike building. I purchased the book along with The Way of the Pilgrim.

I opened up my traveling journals for the first time in 9 years. I was terrified. It wasn’t the words I had written on the pages that inspired me that morning in my cell (small bedroom in a monastery), but the cards and clippings containing the contact information and notes from the people I encountered on the road. My focus widened from myself and my struggles to my friends and the opportunities I had to inspire them.

Workspace in monastery cell with journals and books spread out

I had a discussion with a man named Michael who was originally from Iraq. He told me a story about Christ showing up in his bedroom in a glowing white robe. I asked him to tell me more stories. He went on for over 2 hours; it was the best podcast no one will ever hear. He said many inspiring things. But most of all, at the end he said:

I don’t know why I experienced all of these amazing things. I’m just a regular guy and a sinner. Then, the Lord showed me that these stories are for others. If telling people about these events gives them hope and helps them along their journey than they serve a good purpose.

He taught me how to approach telling my stories with a servant's heart. Focus on how you can help others.

A few more small omens - The monastery has a mighty agave plant. The agave was a symbol of deep spiritual significance for me during our travels through Mexico and Guatemala (and not just because it produces alcoholic beverages). And one of the fathers at the monastery is a doppelganger of my traveling partner, Steve. Seriously, I was double-taking all weekend. His eyes, his laughter, it felt like I was in the company of Steve.¹

Fortunately, it wasn’t the retreat I had in mind. I came down the mountain with rejuvenation of heart and clarity of purpose. Taking all of these signs into accounty, I am going to write a book this year. And do a few other exiting things that I will share in an upcoming letter.

In Closing

I usually spend the month of January pondering and planning for the upcoming year. I’ve made good progress and will be making more announcements throughout this month.

I can say that meeting up with Dominic stirred a longing for me to bridge the gap with my online networks, like Symbolic World. It was such a delight to meet him face-to-face and witness his progress. In fact, Dominic became Brother Elias. On my first visit, he was a discerning visitor; by the second he was a new initiate with a palpable confidence in identity and belonging. I could sense his spiritual growth in the way he carried himself, how he spoke, in his eyes. So, in 2023, I will be pursuing more IRL opportunities - be it meetups, retreats, camp-outs, in-person interviews, backpacking trips, or seminars. And if you would allow me to dream a little, I’d like to do a pilgrimage to a holy site.

Lastly, here are a few postings I think you will appreciate.

• I had the pleasure of joining Joseph Alto on his new and exciting Gist with Joe Podcast. He asked some provoking questions. I reveal some of my plans for 2023. Have a listen over on Joe's channel - The Importance of Storytelling in "This Little Corner".²

• Some of the quotes from Joe and I's conversation were included in Digest #10 of

  This Little Café
  . For instance, here's one: "...and why is that? Because you can take three hundred hours worth of conversation - and tell a 3 minute story." Reading my spoken words in text does make a unique impact compared to listening to the audio.

• The Key to Understanding King David in the Bible - a clip of Matthieu Pageau Conversation (11 min)

• Unusual Experiences Living in a Yurt - clip of Matthieu Pageau Conversation (9 min)

All for now. May you have great year filled with wonder and adventure.

Sincerely,
Derek J Fiedler

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1. Steve and I posted a discussion about our trip on my YouTube channel [listen to Steve podcast]

2. Fun fact: I recorded the video podcast inside my car in a grocery store parking lot. I don’t have a dedicated office or work station in my house right now and probably won’t until the end of the year. So, perhaps I take the show on the road and record each podcast in a new location? Where will he be next? You’ll have to watch to find out ;-)